How could you thoroughly enjoy your Tuesday without a little TOPLESS TUESDAYS action? I'm bringing back my favorite future ex-boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal. We haven't been talking much lately because Reese gets so jealous but I couldn't resist featuring him when I saw pictures from his new movie, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.

Some photos from Gorilla Pics/Simon Earl via Just Jared.

Madonna prepares to divorce Guy Ritchie, hires Paul McCartney's lawyer? Fellow bloggers DListed and Towleroad ran stories last week about Madge's divorce but according to her spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg, "Mr. and Mrs. Guy Ritchie remain happily married."

HRC executives (that's the Human Rights Campaign not Hillary) gave over $4300 to Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign. They also gave Dodd $3000 - John Edwards $750 - Bill Richardson $500 - and Barack Obama $0.

What does gay look like? The Los Angeles Times recently published an article on the researching of "gay traits". No, not the affinity to Barbra Streisand or Rosie O'Donnell but finger length, hair whorls, and penis size. Nothing really new here - except that a lot more lefties are gay. Left handed, I mean.

Billy Crystal outs Jake Gyllenhaal. “He was always performing,” remembers Crystal. “He would sing from South Pacific and we’d all go, ‘He’s gay, he’s going to be gay.’” Jake played Crystal's son in City Slickers when he was 10. You can hear it for yourself In the DVD commentary of the new edition of City Slickers.

The latest viral video to stoke the fires of our upcoming Presidential election. The title may scare some off, "I'm Voting Republican", but most of you will get a laugh from it.

I don't think I have ever, ever, ever, ever, ever wanted more in my life than to be a bike. I really want to be that bike. Like more than anything....

I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't really been following your every move lately. I'd like to say that it isn't personal but I guess it really is. This year hasn't been very good for you.

Don't get me wrong. I still think you're the jelly to my peanut butter but I can't stomach this whole Reese thing. I thought you'd keep this publicity stunt going just long enough to promote Rendition but you've gone off the deep end.

You haven't been yourself. People, US Weekly and all those other rags keep trying to tell me you and Reese are smitten with each other but I know better. That look in your eye when you two are together surely doesn't seem like love to me - it more resembles fear. Actually, more like terror.

You've been giving horrible interviews too. Like when you were on Jonathan Ross' show. I could see the dark storm clouds orbiting your pretty little head. I know you got worried with the whole gay thing and his flamboyant singers but honestly it's almost 2008 - it would be safe to come out. And then you punched some paparazzi too! Well, I guess those bastards deserve to get hit every now and then but that really isn't you.

I'm hoping you figure it all out in 2008. I'll still be your biggest fan even if you make terrible movies again. Like Bubble Boy. And I'm not that wounded that you never returned my call. I guess you got busy.

Talking about 2008, I'm really digging that bad boy look you've got for your new film.

I've always been a sucker for tattoos. Yes, I know it is not really real but you might consider really getting inked. I've never really liked that silly dragon you have on your back anyways.

I hope you got the birthday card in the mail. According to our charts we should make a great couple, as I've been telling you for years. Aries + Sagittarius = match made in heaven.

Well, I'll try to get excited about following your every move again but until you dump Reese and make Chris move out I can't make any promises. That new film, Brothers, better be good.

P.S. - You really should reach out to Heath. I know you enjoyed making Brokeback Mountain with him and if you haven't seen him in awhile he's not doing so well. I think they call him a hobosexual now. That's just one letter away from what most people call you. Give him a call.

Austrian football fans have bombarded a local radio station desperate for Beckham's undies! The contest would allow the winner to sleep in the hotel room after Beckham checked out.....

LGBT SENIORS: The National Gay & Lesbian Task Force and Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) have been awarded a $500,000 grant from the Arcus Foundation's Gay & Lesbian Fund. The grant will be used to develop a national campaign around LGBT aging.

BAPTISTS REJECT AFFIRMING CHURCH: Not surprising to most people, the North Carolina Baptist Convention voted to expel the Myers Park Baptist Church for their inclusive ways.

REDESIGNED FEMALE CONDOM?: Researchers are working on redesigned female condom in hopes to finally get the product to "take off" with women. Only 6 million female condoms are distributed in poor countries annually compared to 12 billion male condoms. What is up with the sticky dots that attach to the vaginal walls? Scary....

BIEL GETS NAILED BY GYLLENHAAL: Al Gore's daughter, Kristin Gore, has penned a new screenplay which will see Jessica Biel 'nailed' by Jake Gyllenhaal. Biel's character gets shot by a nail gun which causes some strange behavior, she goes to Washington to advocate for rights for those that are bizarrely injured, Gyllenhaal plays an unethical Senator that nails her and launches her political career. Voila. Sounds strangely like a porn plot...

Somebody really needs to do an intervention with Jake. His interviews have been horrible and he just seems to have this dark cloud around him. He's edgy, uncomfortable, and really not himself. The closet is a terrible place, Jake! Just look at what it did to Larry Craig & Mark Foley!

Some people are saying that Jake & Reese are finally going public about their relationship but I've heard from a good source that they are just rehearsing for a new movie. Something similiar to The Next Best Thing. The "two" of them were seen this past weekend in Rome -rehearsing, of course.

Jake, it's ok. We all know. Just come out with your hands up and everything will be fine. What about Chris? Oh, and Jake - you still owe me that return call....

Jake was in London over the weekend to promote his new film, Rendition, and appeared on the Friday Night with Jonathan Ross Show to discuss the new film, Brokeback Mountain, being "stood up" by Meryl Streep, and popping his shoulder in City Slickers.

Jake joked about swimming across the ocean to protect the environment rather than flying between Los Angeles and England. He also talked a bit about his "love life" and it seems that him and Reese are really over. (Like I've been saying for months!) He did mention that "at this point" in his career it does matter who gets his romantic attention.

ROSS: Before you go, let me ask you a question on behalf of many of the ladies in the audience perhaps the band as well here? Are you a single man?

GYLLENHAAL: On behalf of which, the band or the ladies?

ROSS: With your career, does it matter Jake?

GYLLENHAAL: At this point, yes. On behalf of the ladies, I'm single. On behalf of the band....

You'll have to watch the clip to see for yourselves what Jake said....